The Maw, it was a rough day.

New Button

It has been a while since I posted last.

I have been busy, busy.

I have been creating more art, of course.  I also got a bunch of prints of my existing work.  I also set up an E-Store.

My E-store is live!  I added a button in the navigation bar that will take you to it.  Please stop in and see if you like my stuff… maybe buy something *wink, wink, nudge, nudge.*

I below are my most recent creations.

The Maw, Explosive Love and Love Charm.

The Maw started as a sketch.  I liked it so much I painted it.  It is 2ft by 4ft.  I am trying to find a really cool frame for it.

The other two were done for Valentine’s Day.  I did not get my store up an running with enough time for people to order them for the holiday.  I am a bit sad about it, but it made me do what needed to be done.  I have been putting off the store for a few years.

I pushed myself really hard to get everything up and running for Valentine’s Day.  I am taking a bit of time to do nothing. Well, mostly nothing.  I am working on another Secret Language of Flowers piece.  I am just taking my time.  I am also working on another painting.  It is significantly smaller, more of a test run.  I hope that this will be something that I can put on a larger canvas.

This is titled "Gratitude"  It is a Secret Language of Flowers inspired drawing.  The fuchsia mean "good taste."  This is intended as a thank you for those who support me and admire my creations enough to purchase them.

Silent and Plotting

I have not been doing nothing while failing to post anything on my blog.

I have been creating new art and planning.

I am not going to share the plans yet.  Every time I do something seems to happen to keep me from following through.  Not failing to follow through this year.  This year stuff will happen.

I have finished some things that I started earlier in 2016 and done so many new things since I last posted.

I am getting better at drawing and painting as well.  It is great to see the changes in my style.  Seeing the things that stay the same and the things that change.  All it takes is practice, lots of practice.

Here are two of the things I got done last year.

There is so much more to come!

Click on the pictures so you can read my captions!  They explain the art a bit.

 

2016-04-12-20-46-15

The Great Chicken Resurfaces

I have been busy creating art and not posting much on my progress.

One of the reasons is that I have failed to follow through on a few things.  Mostly failed myself.  Self sabotage kind of things.

At the rate I am going one would think that I am not interested in moving into being a “professional” artist, or doing art full time.  One could think that I am really just messing around and not serious at all. There are days where I think that, so I can understand that others might.

Then I get mad at myself for letting me down. I have spent a lot of time building up a selection of art that I like and others have expressed an interest in.  Why can I not seem to take the next step?

Set up a website and sell things or even upload things to Etsy or SomETHinG.  ANyThING!!  Just DO IT!  Get on your butt in front of the computer and do what needs to be done.  Click that darn button. Throw the Freaking switch.

… and I don’t.

I come up with so many excuses. “not enough product,” “not enough money,” “I have to put this time towards the house,” “I need to finish this,”  and “I can do it after I do ______.”

I call BS on myself.

None of those reasons are valid.  I have plenty of items.  I will have enough to fund this on my next payday (for the 10th time,) it will not take time away from my other chores,  I have nothing that NEEDS to be finished before I start this, and I will always have something that I think is more important.

Do I NEED a “Thank You card?” not if a quick sketch or scribble will work.  I can develop one later, or after my first sale.  Do I NEED to have stock on hand?  No, there is a print shop down the street that will get what I need done in less than 24 hours on average.  Do I NEED to take photos of my paintings… Well, yes to that one. I do need to do that, but NOT before I open a store.  Again I have plenty of other things to offer.

The negative self talk is there.  You suck.  No one wants your art.  No one sees it.  You cannot connect to anyone with this drivel.  Why not just stop now, you are not going to succeed.  You do not even know what you want to gain from this.

AAARRRGHHHH

It needs to shut up!

I just want to get this done.  Click the darn button.  Throw the switch.  Take the leap.  Even if I am not 100% ready.  I should just do it.

Should… darn that word.

We will see what happens this next pay day.  Will I do it?

Not sure.  It is really scary, and I am really a chicken.  lily-livered and everything other term you can conjure up.

2016-04-12-20-46-15

Ink wash on paper.  I think I will call it “Inside.”  I did this back in April.  I was having a really rough time and felt that there was nothing but chaos in me.  That chaos was casting shadows out into the happy parts of my life.  I kind of feel that way again.

 

 

2016-09-10-17-40-00

Leap

I find it hard to keep up with my blog AND create art.  I kind of think that the blog is a passive activity and creating art is the active activity. I talk about art and doing art in the blog but when I am not typing about art I can create it. So talking about it takes away from the doing.

This is not entirely true though.  The only reason I even started actually creating art is due, in large part, to this blog.  It got me in the frame of mind to actually work on my dream.

It is still hard to keep up with the blog.

Things are going well, overall.  I am creating art, about two creations a month.  Quite prolific for someone who is only doing it when I am not at work or tired from work.  I would like to do more, but I just do not have the energy or focus at the moment.

I have a double sided whiteboard on wheels that I have filled with “to create” items.  I am slowly working on it.  I have three things in active progress, at the moment.  I am keeping busy and on track.  I do get sidetracked, like this posts creation.

This drawing/painting is really cool.  No matter orientation it is viewed, it still works!  I am super excited. I never expected it to work out so well. ^_^  It was done with Higgins Black Magic Ink and lots of water.  I draw the lines out and then fill in the shading or colors with a tiny brush.  I really like the effect.

I will be posting some color ones in a few months, when I get the series done.

 

DaisysforaFriend

PAX again

Time for PAX again.  This means that my art will be  on the back burner for a while.

I have been working pretty consistently on several different projects.

My focus has been loose and I have 4 things going on right now… maybe 5…  Either way, they will get done eventually.

The weather has not been helping much.  Living in an old house without AC is troublesome to say the least.  The heat saps my energy and motivation.

This is something I did for an acquaintance.  She is a pretty awesome person.  Sometimes art just happens because you find that someone inspired you to make art.  A muse of sorts.  It does not have to be a close friend or anything.  Sometimes it might even be someone you dislike.  If it motivates you to create, who or why does not really matter.

DaisysforaFriend

Daisy’s for a friend done in inks:)

PugetSoundSailboat

Over Doing it

There are times when I am so busy that I over do it.

Not really physically.  Mentally and emotionally.

Things HAVE to be done; Get up, go to work, deal with people. The house has to be cleaned, people are coming over, tomorrow.  Spend several hours cleaning. Go to work, deal with people.  Get home, deal with people. Work on art.  It makes you happy right? Latte’s, sugar, tea… sleep? Chores, more painting and drawing.  Errands… Music to save your sanity  and keep you from punching that idiot.

There are days (like the day I wrote this) where I just need to go and hide in a dimly lit hole.  Hide and recuperate my energy, my tolerances, and relocate my motivation.

When I am this rundown I tend to get depressed or angry (I would rather be depressed.  It is easier to hide then to walk around trying to restrain myself.)  When depressed I have trouble focusing on the good things, happy things.

The good becomes so hard to find that it is not worth looking for it. It is almost not worth trying to keep making things because you think everything is bad. All you see are the mistakes and errors.  Not the overall picture and how it is viewed.

You start doubting your skills.  All the mistakes, errors.  I suck.  I am a failure.  I am an amature.  No amount of practice makes me better.

You get sucked into a spiral of “why bother doing..?”  It is  all mistakes, it sucks, no one likes it.

This process leads to a lack of inspiration, and then a lack of art.  Then a shell of a person, only going about things because they have to be done for the survival of the body.

Hopefully one can see it coming and mitigate the situation before it becomes  a full blown episode of stagnation and misery.  Months and years of your life can be lost in the “pit of despair.”

There are lots of away to recover.  I walk to recover.  I find a park, put on some music and walk.  Miles and miles.  I pretend that I am nothing.  No one knows me.  I have no skills, no personality, no needs, wants, desires, nothing.  I am unknown and invisible.  I walk.

Matt Simons – Catch and Release is one of my favorite songs to walk to.  It puts things into perspective.

And I am out of words on this topic for now.

Night!

PugetSound_CentenialParkView

Inspiration is all around.  One just has to see.

20160208_201158

Painting inspired by the above scene I saw while out for a walk.

 

 

 

No Internet!

I have no internet for 2 weeks.  Okaaay. One of those is already past, but still.

It is nice in a way.  I have nothing to escape to instead of working on art projects or chores.

I would go nuts if my phone did not have unlimited data.  I clean best to music.

I hope to have an awesome post or two when it does come back up.  I have been working hard on things.