I really feel like I have given up on being a web designer/developer. I would much rather spend my time doing graphics than reinforcing what I learned in web development.
I keep thinking that “I should …” work on something related to web dev for a few hours a week. I never do. I play around in Photoshop or read Photoshop tutorials.
I have so much invested in web development that I am angry with myself for not working harder on it. Today I was wondering how I even passed some of the classes when I can’t even get a PHP contact sheet to send mail properly. I just can not seem to get it to work. Just thinking about this makes me want to go take a bath and go to bed. I am tired of beating my head against that brick wall.
When do you know that you “wasted” you time and money on something? I wasted so much time on something that I cannot seem to do. Super depressing thought… I want to give up and try something that I am good at. I do not know why I did not spend that time and money getting a degree in marketing and communications. That would have been much easier and more up my alley. Nope. I had to try something new and hard…
What a waste.
About this point in my blog I would normally say something like “there is no wasted experience” or something. I hate to say that it is true, but I do not feel that way about this. Even on a practical level I think it was a waste to do this. After the first class I almost failed (c++) and when I started thinking about changing majors, I really should have. Heck I am better at database design and programming than I am at web development. I almost changed two or three times.
Now I am left with something that gives me headaches, and that I cannot do anywhere else but at my desk. Argh!
Really a waste.
I could just drop it and take some classes at a community college and get a bachelors in marketing and communication. I have enough experience to be able to test out of a bunch of the basic and mid level classes. Write it off. I hate to do that though.
I am genuinely interested in making good multi-platform websites. The thought just gets me all thoughtful and curious.
I do not think I am going to figure this out tonight or even this month.
I do need to decide soon though.
Stick with it or drop it? I wish I knew.