Plans fall through with a ridiculous regularity. People (friends, or so they say) sabotage me. Nothing wants to work. Key tools fail at key times.
I am sure my friends are not sabotaging me. They have lives. I am not a needy friend, though. I do expect something in return for being supportive and listening. It really wounds me to have them bail on me all the time. More so, when it was planned 2-3 weeks in advance.
I do not have many friends (I believe in quality over quantity.) Right now, I want to have no friends and become a hermit. Never put myself out there so people will stop letting me down.
I still cannot get XAMPP to load any test sites. This is getting really irritating. I have 2 sites mostly built and I CANNOT test them! I have spent more time troubleshooting XAMPP than I did building the sites, so far. What the hell!
Why do I keep hoping that “next time will be different?” “My friends will come.” “Everything will work.” Stupid optimism. It just lets you keep getting hurt. Like an idiot, I keep getting up and setting myself to get knocked down again. Insanity. I keep trying and I keep getting let down.
I am not going to become a hermit. Despite how much I want to. I will continue to try. Because I have a bit of hope.
Everyone will show up.
The program will work.
I will not get knocked down.
One day… Things will fall into place.