Communication is hard. Meaningful communication is even harder.
The only reason I have a FaceBook, Instagram and a blog is to try and have some kind of meaningful communication with a few people in the world. Not that the people are 100% “real” but it is real communication. A part of me reaches a part of another person and they were compelled to react.
For some reason those connections do not matter as much as face-to-face ones. Probably because they are “virtual,” not 100% real.
The “real” connections, the Face-to-face ones are harder to make. I pretty sure some of it is me, but a lot is probably the person. Their preconceptions, hangups, and other baggage.
Understanding this does not make it any better. Knowing stuff does not make it easier to make these connections. Knowing stuff does not make it hurt less when things fall through. It makes it worse. It SHOULD have worked out. All the planning was right. WHY did it fail?
I do not know. The failure and not knowing makes me doubt my processes, my knowledge, emotions, skills and in the end my being. A slippery slope argument, to be sure, but one that goes on in my mind anyway.
I do not understand why people are not able to (or don’t) step outside of themselves for a few minutes to see things from a different view point.
I do not see why people cannot (or don’t) look at the connections they make and see what how their actions (or inaction) effects those connections.
Must we all just walk along the obvious path, never looking to see if there are others? There are always others, “there is always a choice.” Can people just not see them?
So blind to other options, we just plod forward, never suspecting. Doors locked before they even had a chance to open.
I want to connect to people. I want to see the world as they see it, understand it as they understand it.
I suppose this is an “artist” or maybe an “intelligent” person problem. Wanting to see/understand everything and yet getting nothing.
Does that even make sense? Abstract things are so hard to put into words. Yet writing them gives them less life that saying them… not that I would. I choose the wrong words and the sentiment would get lost.