She knew that no one really liked her. They considered her a pest at the best of times. She had questions and was sure they could be answered. She asked them, knowing full well that the rest of the group would groan. She just had to know the answer.
Today she had asked 23 questions during class. She only knew because one of her classmates had started keeping count. The highest tracked was 48, the topic was dinosaurs. She liked dinosaurs and wanted to know more.
She never bragged about the knowledge she had. After a few days in school she learned that sharing the knowledge in public would alienate her even more. First Grade was rough for her.
Now she horded the knowledge. She only shared it with her parents (when asked) and her single friend. She only had the one person that she considered a friend. They did not go to the same school, but lived in the same neighborhood. Everyone in the school avoided her. Afraid she would ask a question, or maybe she would brag about the knowledge she had accumulated over the scant years she had been on earth.
She spent her free time reading. Absorbing everything she could. She wrote in journals all the things she had learned. She did everything she could to keep from being a pest, yet she was still one… because she asked questions in class.
Life is lonely, only one friend. Her friend has moved away, and now they only write each other. Correspondence is not regular. She misses her friend.
Highschool is hard enough without the branding of pest. She ends up on group projects on her own and uses the internet to search for the answers to her questions or goes to the library. If she cannot find an answer she asks her questions after class. No one is tracking her questions.
She still does not volunteer answers. She has a reputation for being a know-it-all even though she hardly speaks at school. She goes for days without talking to anyone at school.
She wonders how people can still consider her a pest when she does nothing to impose on anyone. More people impose on her. Telling her to move seats or telling her she is not good enough, smart enough, pretty enough, just because she does not act like them….
That is what it is. She does not act like them.
And she does not know how to act like them. She sees all the clicks and what makes them fit in with each other, but she does not have enough “points” to fit into any. She eats lunch alone in the hall most days. Rarely one of her classmates will ask to eat with her. Usually so they will have someone to listen to her.
She keeps up with her journals. Writing down things that she has learned and noting her observations. Many of her entries include drawings now. She things about going to college for art, but is not sure if she can pay for it.
“May I take your order please?” Says the girl into the microphone. Working at a fast food restaurant is not glamours but it pays the bills. She is friends with a few of her co-workers. She holds back a lot of herself so she can escape the PEST branding she grew up with.
She gets to go out after a long day and have a drink with a friend.
Friends ask for her input.
Friends answer her questions and do not seem to judge her for asking.
She is content.
She still hopes that one day, she will find a person who she can be her whole self with.