I go so busy creating art that I forgot about the Motivation Monday blog post!
Usually I do a quick bit of art then type up the blog post. Not yesterday. I spent hours on it. There were lots of little details and fiddly bits. Then I colored it in… which takes me forever with colored pencil.
Yesterday’s quote comes from Robert Green Ingersoll. Wikipedia says he was a lawyer, orator (talker,) teacher, and even a military vet from the civil war. His father was very religious, which made an impact on his views later in life. He was referred to as “the great agnostic.” I like this guy more with ever sentence I read about him! He sounds like a well rounded guy that loved to think and understand things. A great person to get a motivational quote from.
“A great man is a torch in the darkness, a beacon in superstition’s night, an inspiration and a prophesy.” Robert Green Ingersoll.
I had a hard time picking a quote. I wanted to honor September 11th in some way. That did not work out for me. Everything I saw was overly religious or very hateful to various groups of people. There were some funny sarcastic ones, but sarcasm is often lost in text. There was not a lot about the courage to rebuild or how people join together. That made me sad.
I settled on Mr. Ingersoll’s quote because it was a good medium between where I wanted to go and what was available.
You cannot always tell who is great when they are walking down the street. We all look pretty much the same when en-mass. Lots of people just trying to get from point a to point b efficiently and in a similar condition as we were when we started (unmolested physically, mentally, and spiritually.) I made my ‘great’ people a different color so the art would reflect the quote more.
What makes a ‘great’ person anyway? Are they more generous than most others? Are they better at a specific thing? Or maybe they are “good” at a bunch of little things? Is greatness a personality trait or a way of life? Can it be taught or is it innate?
There are lots of books out there on how to be a “better” you. Will a better you be great?
What do you think makes a great person? I am interested in knowing.
The thief walked into the room cautiously. There are always traps in places like this. The party always sent him in first to make sure it is safe. Like a good thief is expendable. Of course a good thief would never fall prey to a trap unless it was exceptional.
Scanning the walls, looking for clues in the flicker of the torch he carried. He craned his head to check for odd cracks or spaces that were abnormal. Then he checked the floor. He did not see anything to cause him to suspect a trap in the walls, floor, or ceiling of the room. He beckoned the party to enter but cautioned them not to touch anything else.
He turned his attention to the empty sconces on the walls. They were a good place to hide a trigger. Inexperienced treasure hunters assumed they would open secret doors. More often than not they triggered traps that would lead to an early retirement… of sorts. The sconces were safe.
Next was the decrepit table and chair in one of the corners. It is suspicious that they were still together. Every other piece of furniture they had encountered was in ruin. These looked like they might still burn.
He could see the joints were reenforced with bits of metal and nails. The back legs of the chair were bolted to the floor with hinges and the table just looked out-of-place in relation to the chair.
He brought his findings to the party who were standing just inside the door of the room. The idea is to tie a good solid rope to the chair and rig a set of pulleys. They would be safely in the hall when they pulled the rope and triggered the trap.
The thief did all the set up. Gingerly tying the rope to the chair. Then running it through some block pulleys he had tied to the sconces. Clever, he thought to himself. I am clever.
He ran the rope through a hole they made in the door, to help prevent any accidentally damage from arrows or other physically damaging traps. The door would also give them time before any gases might reach them.
Closing the door carefully, the thief pulled the rope tight…
The thief tried again with more strength. Still nothing.
He passed the rope to the warrior, the strongest of the group. The rope was pulled tight.
So tight the thief thought the rope would break.
Then the rope jerked and the warrior stumbled backwards a half step.
A groan was heard from behind the door.
It had worked!
Seconds passed and stretched into minutes. No thuds, hisses, or other common trap sounds were heard. Nothing near them had changed either.
The thief looked at the party. They all nod their heads.
Cautiously the thief opened the door. Then stepped into the room. The room was the same. The chair was titled back with the front legs slightly off the ground. The table was still slightly off. The walls and sconces were intact and in the same positions.
What had they triggered?
He quickly turned around and walked back to the door and the party just beyond.
As he reached for the door something felt off. Instead of jerking it open he pulled the rope back through the hole and looked outside.
A thin green mist had settled in the hall and his companions were slumped on the floor, Overcome by the poisonous gas.
A good thief would never fall prey to a trap unless it was exceptional. This was exceptional and his party had paid the price.
How was he going to get out and back to town?
I am in a deep pit of fear right now.
There are a lot of things that are uncertain, causing fear.
There are a lot of things that will change, causing fear.
The fear has left me unable keep on top of what needs to be done. I am frozen.
I have been working hard to keep myself together. Be strong and happy. The worry eats away at me daily. I know it does my spouse as well.
I have tried getting the assistance that we all pay into. However, we have no children and are not disabled. We do not qualify for most programs. The best we get is food stamps. Of course, something is better than nothing right now.
I am lost at what else I can do. I have filled out so many forms, and they all get rejected or denied. I have applied for so many jobs I do not even remember most of them. I did have one call me back, but told me the position was quite a ways out of my travel zone.
I have slowly, so slowly, been selling my services. A few people have purchased my art. I have also done a few portrait commissions. I try to keep creating through all the uncertainty.
I have had a few companies contact me about my art, that makes me happy. Then I find out they want me to pay to be in their magazine or event. I understand their need to ensure they make money on their product. I do not understand why the fees are so high for most of them. You are going to be selling the product and generating income off that. Paying for the “exposure,” the doom of artists.
Otherwise most of the interst is not of the paying variety. I am happy that people like my art, but it does not help me much if it does not leave my possession. $10 is not a lot of money to a lot of people. $10 is something to me.
I feel like a deer in a meadow. Everything looks great and safe, yet there are predators on one side of the woods and a company cutting down the trees on the other.
Where am I supposed to go?
What am I supposed to do?
For now I will just keep applying for jobs.
Keep sharing my art for sale. Keep creating art.
Keep applying for assistance.
Keep looking for others who might help out.
Do my best not to be bitter.
Work on keep a positive outlook.
It is hard to be positive and motivational when you are in pain. Constant pain is personality altering. I have been in pain for the past two days. A constant stream of swear words are running through my head. I have been trying to keep a positive attitude and keep up with my art work.
A lot of negative things come into my head when I am in pain. My optimism starts failing and I think of all the bad things that can happen. All the things that I am bad at, failed at, and will never get to do… because I am a failure.
I know I have a pretty good life. I do not worry to much about the basic necessities of life. I have what I need to get by. Yet I feel that I am a failure and will never get anywhere. Doomed to live in anonymous pain.
With out to much more of my negativity here is the positive part of my Monday post.
“Failure will never overtake me if my determination to succeed is strong enough.” Og Mandino.
I think this is my second quote for Og Mandino. He has some fun and interesting quotes that are easy to visualize and draw.
To do this one I looked up animals that could represent success or strength. I liked the leaping lion. We all can agree that they are strong and successful. Failure was harder. It is different to everyone. I started to think of the Nothing from the Neverending Story. Fear of failure can eat away at any success you have made and turn it into nothing.
Have a great week!