There are a lot of things I can say I wish for on a regular basis.
The big one right now is…
I wish I had not developed asthma. When I have an attack I am unmotivated, listless, confused, and lethargic. It takes me a while to realize that I am having an attack, because I am easily confused and listless. When I realize I am not “normal” it has been a few weeks.
Ot seems to be happening mostly in the spring, when therw are more allergens. I end up increasing both my asthma and allergy medication doses for a week or so. It does not make me happy to do so.
I have been trying to get ready for a smallish art show in May, my first. Having this delay is not awesome. How am I supposed to have cool stuff if I cannot focus on making things?
It jas taken about a month, but I finally finished this.
I am so burnt out from my job that I am putting in my notice. I have been doing the job for ten years. It has grown beyond what one person can handle. I have asked for help every month for the last year and none has been forth coming.
The stress is taking its toll on me. I eat when I am frustrated so I keep putting on weight and wasting money on junk food. There is not escape from the food. It is in the cafeteria, gift shop, snack bars (there are two,) and the pharmacy. There are also three convenience stores across the street.
I am so frustrated that I cannot get the motivation to exercise. I do not even really want to work on art, read, or socialize. I just want to hide away in my room and stare at the ceiling. Then all the negative and bad thoughts come. So really, a lose, lose situation.
There are things that I am concerned about. Like having enough money to support the house hold, paying bills and what not. I am concerned that I will not be able to sell any art to help financially. I am concerned that I will not be able to create more art, once I do not have the stress and frustration of the daily grind.
I worry that I will just fail and bring the household down with me.
I just cannot do it any more. Working at a fast food joint slinging burgers or taking orders is more appealing then going into work tomorrow. If I had fewer morals, I might have just walked off the job several years ago.
I have morals and I am pretty stubborn. I do have my limits and they have been reached.
Sad and true.
My spouse worries about me when I paint or draw “weird” things. I told him to worry more when I am not painting these things. It means I am to far gone. This is called “Fit.” It is black and white acrylic on canvas.
In my last post I shared that I started up an e-store. If any of you checked it out, you might notice that it is NOT on WordPress. It is actually on a different platform, has its own blog and mailing list.
I chose to use a different platform for a few reasons.
Wix was cheaper than WordPress. I got a five year plan for $300 ish dollars. It came with the e-store set up, support, the domain, and an “easy to use editor.” Yes, WordPress has all those things, but it would have been $200 ish more.
I have experience with WordPress E-Stores… And I get a headache every time I think about working with them. After setting up my store I have discovered that it is not just WordPress E-Stores. They all seem to be a headache. I could have gone with Shopify or maybe Etsy, things that are built to be only E-Stores, but that would deprive me of a lot of the control I want. Plus most have a surcharge on each transaction.
Just to see what is out there. I have used WordPress, I tried Etsy and I know several people that use Shopify and Store Envy.
I learned during the process. Unless I want to shell out more money I do not have inventory management and my only option for payment is to go through PayPal (yaay transaction fees.) Which is fine, it is a small operation. Setting up mailing lists is a pain in the butt. WordPress has better social media interaction and links (Wix does not support G+ for example.)
I am trying to decide if it is worth adding advertisements to my site. I have a steady job so I do not need the financial benefits. I am not sure that there are any other benefits to having the adds. RESEARCH time.
If you are going to do an E-Store, shop around and find out what you NEED, WANT and are willing to pay for it. You should also plan for scaling. If you are staying small, 1-10 items, Shopify, Store Envy, or Etsy might work fine for you. If you are planning on growing or want the extra bits (such as a separate store blog, mailing list and email account) find a platform that offers what you need and want for a price you are willing to pay.
I have been creating more art, of course. I also got a bunch of prints of my existing work. I also set up an E-Store.
My E-store is live! I added a button in the navigation bar that will take you to it. Please stop in and see if you like my stuff… maybe buy something *wink, wink, nudge, nudge.*
I below are my most recent creations.
The Maw, Explosive Love and Love Charm.
The Maw started as a sketch. I liked it so much I painted it. It is 2ft by 4ft. I am trying to find a really cool frame for it.
The other two were done for Valentine’s Day. I did not get my store up an running with enough time for people to order them for the holiday. I am a bit sad about it, but it made me do what needed to be done. I have been putting off the store for a few years.
The Maw, it was a rough day.
I pushed myself really hard to get everything up and running for Valentine’s Day. I am taking a bit of time to do nothing. Well, mostly nothing. I am working on another Secret Language of Flowers piece. I am just taking my time. I am also working on another painting. It is significantly smaller, more of a test run. I hope that this will be something that I can put on a larger canvas.
I have not been doing nothing while failing to post anything on my blog.
I have been creating new art and planning.
I am not going to share the plans yet. Every time I do something seems to happen to keep me from following through. Not failing to follow through this year. This year stuff will happen.
I have finished some things that I started earlier in 2016 and done so many new things since I last posted.
I am getting better at drawing and painting as well. It is great to see the changes in my style. Seeing the things that stay the same and the things that change. All it takes is practice, lots of practice.
Here are two of the things I got done last year.
There is so much more to come!
Click on the pictures so you can read my captions! They explain the art a bit.
I titled this “Meddler” I caught myself meddling in someone else’s life. I realized that I was just messing them up and not fixing my issues. Meddling just makes all the colors messy and gross.
This is titled “Gratitude” It is a Secret Language of Flowers inspired drawing. The fuchsia mean “good taste.” This is intended as a thank you for those who support me and admire my creations enough to purchase them.
I find it hard to keep up with my blog AND create art. I kind of think that the blog is a passive activity and creating art is the active activity. I talk about art and doing art in the blog but when I am not typing about art I can create it. So talking about it takes away from the doing.
This is not entirely true though. The only reason I even started actually creating art is due, in large part, to this blog. It got me in the frame of mind to actually work on my dream.
It is still hard to keep up with the blog.
Things are going well, overall. I am creating art, about two creations a month. Quite prolific for someone who is only doing it when I am not at work or tired from work. I would like to do more, but I just do not have the energy or focus at the moment.
I have a double sided whiteboard on wheels that I have filled with “to create” items. I am slowly working on it. I have three things in active progress, at the moment. I am keeping busy and on track. I do get sidetracked, like this posts creation.
This drawing/painting is really cool. No matter orientation it is viewed, it still works! I am super excited. I never expected it to work out so well. ^_^ It was done with Higgins Black Magic Ink and lots of water. I draw the lines out and then fill in the shading or colors with a tiny brush. I really like the effect.
I will be posting some color ones in a few months, when I get the series done.
Time for PAX again. This means that my art will be on the back burner for a while.
I have been working pretty consistently on several different projects.
My focus has been loose and I have 4 things going on right now… maybe 5… Either way, they will get done eventually.
The weather has not been helping much. Living in an old house without AC is troublesome to say the least. The heat saps my energy and motivation.
This is something I did for an acquaintance. She is a pretty awesome person. Sometimes art just happens because you find that someone inspired you to make art. A muse of sorts. It does not have to be a close friend or anything. Sometimes it might even be someone you dislike. If it motivates you to create, who or why does not really matter.