Emotion Overload

I just got off the phone with a great friend.  The brief glossy version for the reason for the call:

This person is dealing with an extremely bad time in his life.  Multiple things have gone wrong and they have been left to clean up the mess and resolve the remaining issues.  Not for the first time.  They needed an ear and some support, a friend.

I am a friend.  Even though they know I am terrible with the supportive words, I am still a friend that will listen, and offer what I can.  Mostly an ear and cliche words of support and honesty (usually the brutal kind.)

I am terrible with these things.  Really.  If you want someone to give you comfort and hope, do not call me.  I become factual and robotic when presented with these kinds of situations.

A reason I am terrible at this kind of thing, is because my life has been fairly easy so far.  I have not had any major problems such as a close relative die (horrifically or otherwise.)  I have not had my heart broken and no major betrayals.  I have no experience with these kinds of things.  I have lived a “charmed life” in those regards.

This does not mean I do not feel anything when people talk to me about their lives.  I get sad, scared, angry, worried, frustrated, and many other emotions that I cannot separate out.  I feel all kinds of emotions, they just never reach my face or my words, most of the time – not even my actions.

I think about the causes.  I think about how to visualize the feelings.  I think about how to keep it from happening again.  I think about how to help the person move forward.

Nothing a person in pain wants to hear about when they are in pain.

They want comfort and support and hugs.  They do not want to know that I visualize their feelings or that they can do x thing to keep it from happening in the future.  Nor do they want to know that xx thing is the next logical step.

I do my best to offer what I can.  I warn people ahead of time when they tell me they need a friend.  I listen.  If I have no words, I will say so.  If all I have to offer is a cliche, I will say so.  Do not expect anything else of me… well maybe some weird art.

It comes out in my art.  All of it.

In the near future you will see some creepier than usual art related to the conversation I had today.


New Year and no Art … yet

Happy first blog post of 2018.
I was not sure what to right about.  The turn of the year was quite interesting…
There were some bad things that happened.  Mostly caused be the poor financial situation I am in right now.  They were expected, and I do not see one of them as being that bad.
I have been applying for creative type jobs.  I am extremely grateful for the job I have, but I would like something a bit more stable, higher pay, and better hours.  Food on the table is great, but I would like to be able to keep the roof over my head also.  Wish me luck!
I took a week off art and the blog (did you notice?)  I wanted to rest up and refresh my view point.  Maybe try to come up with something cool to write about (failed at that.)  I started four paintings, and set up a few small drawings, as experiments of sorts.
I need to come up with something for Valentines day… None of my current ideas get the fire burning so I keep kicking things around my head hoping that one will click and work.
I do not have any solid plans for events this year.  The cool ones that I did last year, have not put out anything for this year (yet) and money is tight.  I would like the creative jobs to help find out what events are available.  Some are hard to find if you do not know where to look.
I should have some art to share on Thursday.
Happy New Year!
May 2018 bring good things, or at the least be better than 2017 was.

The Rain Continues…2017 Review

This year has been… interesting.
January and February were stressful…  It was when I created “The Maw.”
My spouse was forced to resign from his position and he spent most of this time being (in my opinion) unproductive.  I had a lot of anger and frustration from my job also.  A lot of additional responsibilities with out additional pay or staffing.  Not that the pay would have made things better.  I was at my limit anyway, I needed extra man hours.
Either way, I was miserable at work and home.  If I was not painting I was sleeping.  I slept a lot.
March is when I put notice into my full time employer.  I can only stand so much misery.  Either leave my spouse (it was very bad) or leave the job.  Things are scary.  For the second time in my life I was “unemployed” but the first that it was my choice.  This was also the month I started looking for Art groups to be a part of.  Looking back I only did two major works this month.
April saw me excited at the prospect of being free.  It was still scary and stressful.  Trying to get things cleaned up at work for the new person and at home…  I also was getting ready for a show in May.  I did a full sized acrylic painting, the skull experiments and a farewell flower bouquet!  Busy girl!
May: All done at the job.  I never have to go back and work that thankless job ever again.  As crazy and desperate as things are right now, I am so glad I do not have to work there anymore.
I did my first vendor event!  Oddmall Tacoma.
I was a flurry of work to get things ready for the event.  Title pages for my portfolio, making sure I had to much to display, pricing, and color pages.  I even painted a set of cute birds that an awesome friend purchased. (I cannot find the photo of it.)
June and July were also a bit crazy.  I did that awesome jellyfish painting and an Octopus painting (sold.)  I did a few more ink wash paintings and geared up for Art on the Ave in Tacoma with the color-me puzzles and Music and Art in Wright Park.  I also started to work on “motivation Monday” stuff.  In July I also got two commissions!  It was so cool.  I will be working on another commission for the one of those people in 2018.
The worries of not having steady income and my spouse not having a job yet, is starting to bother me.  My spouse and I are selling icecream when we can for a local iceream maker, Viking Feast Icecream.
I also got a part time job at the end of July.  Gotta make ends meet.
PS. I was not happy about it.  I was “unemployed” for less than two months.  It still makes me angry to think about.  I could go on for days about the work balance in my relationship.
August and September is when the dread really set in.  I got a small commission in August and prepped a lot for Music and Art in Wright Park.
This is also the time frame where I had the awesome pleasure of working with a talented artist on a collaboration!  I had started with an idea for an abstract painting for a comic related piece and it just did not go well.
I did a small commission and started getting ready for events that I work. I sold icecream and got laid up because I hurt my back and could not work.
I created a bunch of nerd oriented art for Jet City Comic Show in November.
October… Should have been the best month ever.  Halloween, Inktober and a fun little Halloween event for me to vendor at, and a Friday the 13th.  My spouse was working steady hours, not full time, but steady.  All the makings for an excellent month.
Then my spouse’s best friend committed suicide… a few block from our house. Messed up the whole month.  We did what we had to.  My spouse got fired from his job and the whole emotional mess that comes with losing your best friend…  I think that it is worse than losing a family member.  You do not get to pick those, but you pick your friends (just try not to pick their noses *hahaha.*)
October and November were really just horrible, terrible, and no good.
In November and December I did not work much, just art.  The job that I work at has its slow time during the holidays.  I made enough to pay the utility bills.  I also did a few small events and sold some art that helped pay a few more small bills.
I had art on display at a restaurant in Fremont, Washington.  It was exciting to see my art on a wall that was not mine.  I also was at Jet City Comic Show as a guest of Terra Crux Games.
I spent most of the November and December coloring Inktober drawings and cursing my spouses best friend.
It has been a long time since $400 felt like a lot of money.  I was a teenager when that last happened.  My first pay check was $281.64 in the mid 90’s.  I felt so rich.
Now I hope I get that much so I can make sure we have light, food, and heat.
I am also frustrated with “the system.”  A person who has worked their butt off since they were old enough to work, cannot get help.  There is virtually no one who is around to help my family (no kids) keep the house and pay the bills, during this bad year we have had.
A person who has only worked long enough to ensure they get state and federal benefits can easily get “assistance” for housing, food, and bills.
I do not understand it.
This is the last post of the year.
A summary of what I have done.
I look toward 2018 with hope.
I am an eternal optimist.


An Anime List

I was not sure what to write about today, so I thought I would write about something I enjoy that is NOT art related.  I do like things other than art.  I love books, movies (OK horror movies,) cartoons, tea, games, new socks, baths, and anime.

I enjoy anime quite a lot.

I was first exposed to it when I lived in Alaska in my early teens. Even then I liked to stay up quite late and I would end up watching some crazy things on TV at 2am. It was super cool! Spaceships, crazy hair, new stories and drawing styles that I had never seen. I was seeing images Sci-Fi book gave me on TV! So cool.

I do not remember the name of the first one I saw, I remember it took place in space and the people were very elongated (tall and skinny.) It made a huge impression on me.

I have three criteria that I judge almost all visual entertainment by.

  1.  Story content
  2. Telling style
  3. Visuals

If you blow me away on two of the three I will consider the video good. There are very few are 3 for 3 and these are the ones that I remember and want to keep.

For example Rojan: the Robbers Daughter. Cute story and told okay, but OMG the visuals drove me bananas. Bouncing between 2d and 3d and the hair.. .what the heck. I thought the hair was bad, but then they bust out fur shawls and the details on those were really distracting. It was still OK, 2 of 3 is good.  I only remember it because I just watched it and my spouse and I had some conversations about the animation.

Here is a list of anime that made an impression on me. Most are older, some are new, some are popular and some are obscure, so obscure they are hard to find.  I have not seen some of these since I first watched them.  I watched Chobits while in the military, 14-16 years ago…  And it still sticks with me.

They are not in any order, more as I remember them.

  1. Chobits – really interesting and trippy. It is slow so buckle down.
  2. Fruits Basket – another slow one, but it gets you in the feels.
  3. Paranoid Agent – weird. Watch the whole thing. I was watching this as it was released on TV and I missed a few episodes, this made it really confusing.
  4. Paprika – this is a movie, hard to get as it is out of print (so to speak.) Another weird one (do you see a theme developing yet?) This movie was the inspiration for the Cell and Inception movies.
  5. Perfect Blue – while thinking about movies, this one is really cool. A up and coming actress gets her first stalker. I love way the story was told, you get so caught up in the girl’s life that you end up as confused as she is.
  6. Mushishi – I love this. The stories are excellent and the animation is gorgeous. I wish there was more as I want to know more about the protagonist.
  7. Mahoutsukai no Yome (the Magnus’ Bride) – This one is so exciting, and it is new! I have a hard time finding new stuff I like. They all seem to be shallow action flicks. Not this one.
  8. Mardock Scramble – another hard to find one. It is actually three movies (first, second and third exhaust.) I saw the first in 2014 and had to search for the second (they started release in 2013.) I had to wait a whole year for the last installment.  I remembered to keep looking for that whole year, that is how awesome it is.
  9. Gankutsuou: The Count of Monte Cristo – The story for this one is fairly well known, but the animation designs are so cool. They add a totally different level to the visuals of the story. Almost everything is moving. I have watched it several times and I get hypnotized every time.
  10. Metropolis: This movie blew my mind. I was crying and just amazed. The animation style was in such contrast with the heavy subject matter. Since I have watched two versions of the black and white live action movie, but the anime will always be the one that blows my mind.
  11. Ghost in the Shell – This movie should not be a surprise to anyone. The theme on my list is either amazing visuals or existentialist. Ghost in the Shell is defiantly both. The animation is so clean and interesting and the story makes you question who you are.
  12. Lupin the 3rd – This is a TV show, manga, AND a series of movies. This has been going since 1967! It is 50 years old this year. I was amazed. The older movies (The Mystery of Mamo and Castle of Cagliostro) were done in the 1970’s and you would be hard pressed to tell, based off the story. The animation tells you, but you would still not think 70’s. I really enjoy all the interesting cultural differences that show up in this. Watching all the movies kind of tell you what was important during the generation they were created in. In the latest one, Goemon Ishikawa’s Spray of Blood Lupin and the gang get drunk and stoned, in the past all they did was smoke cigarettes.

The are so many more that I cannot remember the names of. I hunt down new anime from time to time. I am about to check out Inuyaskiki (apparently an older man gets turned into a combat robot. This should be neat.)

I have watched all the “classics” Cowboy Bebop, Vampire Hunter D, Macross, Bubble Gum Crisis, Hellsing, Full Metal Alchemist, D. Gray Man, .Hack, Howl’s Moving Castle, almost everything from Studio Ghibli plus hundreds of others. I have many of the full length anime on DVD or on a hard drive some where.

I am always looking for more anime to watch (or manga to read) so leave your suggestions!


Updating the Shop!

I am working on adding my new items to the e-store.
I got all the postcards in,  I have to edit some more photos so I can get the greeting cards and 8×10 prints up.
I hope to have everything up tomorrow.
This is a bit late, I should have had this all done by Thanksgiving.  That, of course, would have been hard seeing how I only had a few of the things created then.
This is probably the last group of creations I will be getting prints of.  I will not be able to afford new prints for quite a while.  Prints and cards are rather expensive to get created.
I will not stop making art.  If you wish to support me (and get free stuff out of it) check out my Patreon page.  Patreon is a way for art fans to support artists by pledging an amount of money based off work done.  Basically I create art, show it off on Patreon, you think I did good and patronize me for the good work.  In return you will get cool things based off the amount you pledge.
You can get some awesome art, inside tips and tricks, early access to content and the good feeling of supporting a local artist reach great heights.  At the higher levels (of my pledge tree) you can even get a commissioned piece.  Something made just for you.
You can check out my Patreon at this link or the link at the top of this blogsite.
PS: Patreon patrons (how weird is that to say) will have access to something I have created that I have not shown anyone else.
Here are a few of the things I framed today.  They are all items I had done this year and just got printed.


Getting Ready for the Holidays!

Yes, I am.
To get ready for the holidays that come at the end of the year I am….
wait for it….
making art.
Probably not what you were expecting.
I am a bit behind the curve as I only have one Christmas / Holiday themed art piece!
I have been working to remedy that with “25 Days of Christmas.”
My goal is to create 25 winter holiday themed images.  I am going to do my best to work in a few other religions that celebrate winter holidays.  Suggestions are always welcome as I might miss things, or misunderstand something.
Unlike Inktober where the goal was to do line drawings that I could turn into a coloring book, I want to create 25 finished pieces.  Each of these takes about 2 days to do (drying between layers takes a while.)  Even a simple one can take 10-12 hours of work and 10-12 hours of waiting for paint to dry.
To give myself better odds of being able to reach my goal (25 is A LOT) I started around Thanksgiving.
This first one was simple (kind of) to draw and simple to paint, just 4 colors!
Please enjoy the video of me paint this.
Remember to subscribe to my Youtube Channel to get be notified of my newest videos.


Cleaning out the Cobwebs

I got a bug up my butt to clean today.  I swept, mopped, dusted, lifted, moved, shifted, sorted, tossed and recycled a lot.  I actually filled my 13g recycling tub full of cardboard and paper (scratch paper – no art was harmed in this clean-up.)

I have a bit more to do.  I am getting rid of the small tv table in favor of something with drawers.  Stuff needs to get off the floors.  There is so much cat hair and pine needles floating around this year.  It would also be helpful to be able to find things without moving a bunch of stuff.

I need to figure out how I can hang all my empty frames instead of hiding them on the floor.  The walls are plaster and it is hard to put screws in the wall without a bunch of damage.  I might have to modify some hooks so they protrude a foot or so from the wall.

Anyway, there is still more to do.  I am excited to do it, but I have no more energy to do more tonight.  Things will wait until tomorrow.

It is nice to have things clean.  I can think better and SEE what is available.  I also know where things are and I will not have to panic when getting ready for events or packing art for buyers.

I also changed up the “Wall of Inspiration.”  New stuff is good to get rid of the old thoughts.

Here is a look at what I have as of tonight.  I stitched together a bunch of pictures in a panoramic type view.  it is quite different.  I might play with this later and see what other things Photoshop might play with this.