Crazy Week!

On Monday I did not have much going on.
Today I have tons going on.  I should be going to sleep, but I needed to write this today.
No more slacking!  Do what needs to be done.
This week was crazy!
I started a second part time job, which is AWESOME.  Really the job is perfect for me right now.  I am not going to post much about it, but just know, it is there, and smells good (essential oil good, not food good.)
I went to the Dollar Tree near the office of my part time job one.  I went for face tissue, and came out with art supplies!  They had canvas boards and small canvases.  I was blown away.  I am going to keep checking back to see if they get paints (that are not in the kids section.) some of those watery craft paints would be awesome.  I want to do a “cheap art supply” challenge.  The Dollar Tree is quickly becoming one of my favorite stores for things.
Lighthouse_small
With one of the packs of canvas boards (three in this pack) I created a nice lighthouse scene.  The challenge for this piece was to use as much water as possible.  I used a trusty spray bottle to get the extra water on the canvas board.  The paint did some really neat things.  I borrowed a hair dryer to speed up the drying process.  THEN I realized I could use the dryer to push the paint around and did the waves and spray in the bottom panel.  So fun. I really need to buy a small hair dryer.
Last night (Wednesday night) I had an awesome idea for a series of tutorials.  I hope I can get everything together and do them this weekend.  Maybe I can squeeze in a Patreon video and a general introduction video.
I will be working on getting time lapse videos put together this weekend, so there will not be a video-less Thursday for a while.  I have tons of footage of me creating things.
Wow, so much going on.
Sleep is calling.
Have a great weekend!

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The Canvas is…

…A window. What gets painted on them is what I imagine I can see through the window.

I try to come up with a composition that works in my frame. What could you see if you were three or four feet from a window, looking out.

The branches of a cherry tree or dogwood stretching across the sky. A fish swimming past. A mythical creature running past.

…A box. What can you fit into it?

A magic skull, or maybe a person.

Ooo this gave me some great ideas! (happy artist)

…A portal or door way. Where would you go if you had a magic portal?

I spend most of my time treating the canvas like a window. I like to take a third person viewpoint and imagine what one would see. This allows me to imagine a huge scene, but only see a small portion of it. I feel more free, knowing what is seen is not all that there is.

When imagine the canvas as a box, I feel confined and my art reflects the feeling.

Imagining the canvas as a door is similar to it being a window. The only difference is what is on the other side. Things can spill through doors once they are open.

Have a good week!

A Little Low

There are days when I feel more negative things than positive.

I do my best to keep it from leaking out, but I am sure people can tell.

I can usually pick myself up by writing things out, so here goes!

Yesterday was a pretty bad day. I am not even sure why it was bad. I was productive. I worked on art, prepped this blog post, completed several chores, and took pictures in a cemetery. Honestly, it was a pretty productive day.

So why did I feel so useless and empty?

I am kind of angry also. Angry that people got straight to “hormones” whenever a female is not feeling like they usually do. Angry that most of what I am can be attributed to a good or bad hormone day.

I am also angry at my current financial situation. The only thing I could have done to make it better was stay where I was, slowly getting sadder and sadder, and fatter and fatter. I do not think that giving up my physical and mental health was worth the wage I received anymore.

There are other things I am angry about my financial situation, but I need to work those out with my spouse.

Maybe I am not feeling useless and empty, maybe I am just angry at a lot of things, most of which I have no control over. That could be a good answer.

I have a large commission coming up. I have to fine tune the sketches and confer with my client. This will be a good thing, it means keeping busy, creating income and getting out and exercising.

I have a small painting I am finishing up.

I have the prospect of another mural for a business and two more events. Things may or may not be as bad as I think or envision. I just need to keep taking the steps to make things work.

I am feeling a bit of the hope coming back.

Ribbon Gymnast in a comet

Almost done, just a few things to fix. I like the silhouette in this one much more than version 1.

SkullOnRedBackgroundPainting

Closer and Closer

Every day I get closer to living my dream, well, trying to.
I am so nervous.
Giving up the stability of my current job to pursue something that I want to do… and not knowing if I will be able to support myself.
When I am positive about myself, I believe I can sell everything.  When I am not having a great day, I do not think anyone will buy anything and I will fail.  When I am more balanced, I am pretty sure I will at least break even at my first event, Oddmall Tacoma.  Well I hope I break even (obviously, I have a pretty negative world view today.)
RedStringofFateMy latest painting kind of leans to my thinkings.
You may think that you can control your fate. Pulling on the string binds your senses and then you really cannot do much.  Follow the sting and you may find what you were meant for.
Well, something like that.
On Instagram I put “you can take your fate into your hands, but it will still bind you.”
Speaking about the art.
I really like that I used complimentary colors. Red for the background, some gold and purple to add depth.  I did the skeleton in green.
I hope to see you at OddMall in Tacoma, Wa (I am in booth 37.)
If you cannot make it check out my store!

 

Person_in_a_box

Not Sure

The past week has been rough.

I am so burnt out from my job that I am putting in my notice.  I have been doing the job for ten years.  It has grown beyond what one person can handle. I have asked for help every month for the last year and none has been forth coming.

The stress is taking its toll on me. I eat when I am frustrated so I keep putting on weight and wasting money on junk food.  There is not escape from the food.  It is in the cafeteria, gift shop, snack bars (there are two,) and the pharmacy.  There are also three convenience stores across the street.

I am so frustrated that I cannot get the motivation to exercise.  I do not even really want to work on art, read, or socialize.  I just want to hide away in my room and stare at the ceiling.  Then all the negative and bad thoughts come.  So really, a lose, lose situation.

There are things that I am concerned about.  Like having enough money to support the house hold, paying bills and what not.  I am concerned that I will not be able to sell any art to help financially.  I am concerned that I will not be able to create more art, once I do not have the stress and frustration of the daily grind.

I worry that I will just fail and bring the household down with me.

I just cannot do it any more.  Working at a fast food joint slinging burgers or taking orders is more appealing then going into work tomorrow.  If I had fewer morals, I might have just walked off the job several years ago.

I have morals and I am pretty stubborn.  I do have my limits and they have been reached.

Sad and true.

Fit

My spouse worries about me when I paint or draw “weird” things.  I told him to worry more when I am not painting these things.  It means I am to far gone.  This is called “Fit.”  It is black and white acrylic on canvas.