Not a very Motivational Monday

I try quite hard to keep a positive mindset.  I find that if I focus on the good things in a situation that I do better to get through it.  This year it has been exceptionally challenging to do this.
Some of the problems we (spouse and I) are facing are directly caused by us.  We were doing well at the beginning of the year so we were not managing our money well (less well than I originally thought.)  I quite my stable and good paying job (I do not regret it.)  Now we are plagued by things that are seemingly out of our control but caused by our actions early this year.
My spouse has been unable to get a consistent job.  My art is not selling well (I knew this was going to be the case.) People who want my art are having financial issues as well. I am not able to get a consistent job (waiting on the government to process some paper… really over 9 months!)
We do not qualify for most federal aide as we do not have children nor are we disabled.
I feel that we are in a pit and it is pouring rain out.  The pit is slowly filling with sludge and we are getting covered instead of being able to float to the surface.
My eternal optimism says we will get through this, more or less intact.  There is a part of me that would like to give up the fight and just walk away from everything.  Live off grid in the mountains or something equally as difficult or impossible.
The optimism wins out, because I am an eternal optimist, even if I do not act like it.
In an effort to give myself a boost I found some quotes to share.
I am not drawing the quote today.  I am NOT that optimistic right now.  Plus I am working on getting ready for Jet City Comic Show in Tacoma, Washington this weekend.
Yes, yes, yes.  I want to quit.  I want to hide away and never show my face to the world again.  Yet, I will not.  I want to share my art with everyone.  I want to make them see and feel and think new things.  So I will keep going, because I have not accomplished my goal yet.
I was “busy” Friday.  Sheer stubbornness made me waste a bunch of time on something.  I could have been working on other things.
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 I am doing this one.  I have never done a lot of the things that I did this year.  I am learning and growing.
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 I make lots of these.  I try a lot.
Thank you for reading.
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Motivation Monday #13

Today’s motivation is from George Bernard Shaw.
“Life isn’t about finding yourself.  Life is about creating yourself.”
I totally agree.
When you start off you are mostly what your parents want you to be.  They pick the bits and pieces of themselves that are “best” and give them to you.  As you grow up you are exposed to more and more people with different “best” things you can pick and chose which ones will serve you best.  As time goes on you can chose to get rid of things that no longer have a place.
In the end you are this amazing mosaic, a sculpture using various clays, stones, woods, and so many other materials.
I tried to take my time on this.
I am just so tired today.  Getting up at 3:30 is not helping my afternoon energy levels.  Plus I was on the phone with “customer service.”  That will suck the life out of anyone.  AAANNNDD the problem was not resolved.  I have to call again tomorrow.
On the plus side.  Once this is resolved, it should be the LAST little bit of the fallout from the financially rough year I have had.
PARTY!!!!
…not… no energy.
I did buy myself some Double Stuf Oreos though.  mmmmm heaven.
Have a great week.  I will post about arty things on Thursday.
Don’t forget to check out ArtByCarissaC on Youtube.  New videos on Thursdays!  (Time Lapse Thursday…?  is that a good name for them?)
I also have a bunch of stuff in my Etsy shop.  Original art that has been framed, and framed prints.  More will be coming (once I get more green.)
I am ALWAYS open to feedback and suggestions on improving my art, postings, and videos.  Feel free to leave comments and input.
I WANT to get better!
I messed up the wording of the quote.  I do that when I am not paying attention. *Sigh*
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Motivation Monday 11

I go so busy creating art that I forgot about the Motivation Monday blog post!

Usually I do a quick bit of art then type up the blog post. Not yesterday. I spent hours on it. There were lots of little details and fiddly bits. Then I colored it in… which takes me forever with colored pencil.

Yesterday’s quote comes from Robert Green Ingersoll. Wikipedia says he was a lawyer, orator (talker,) teacher, and even a military vet from the civil war. His father was very religious, which made an impact on his views later in life. He was referred to as “the great agnostic.” I like this guy more with ever sentence I read about him! He sounds like a well rounded guy that loved to think and understand things. A great person to get a motivational quote from.

“A great man is a torch in the darkness, a beacon in superstition’s night, an inspiration and a prophesy.” Robert Green Ingersoll.

I had a hard time picking a quote. I wanted to honor September 11th in some way. That did not work out for me. Everything I saw was overly religious or very hateful to various groups of people. There were some funny sarcastic ones, but sarcasm is often lost in text. There was not a lot about the courage to rebuild or how people join together. That made me sad.

Torch_MotivationMonday_THUMBI settled on Mr. Ingersoll’s quote because it was a good medium between where I wanted to go and what was available.

You cannot always tell who is great when they are walking down the street. We all look pretty much the same when en-mass. Lots of people just trying to get from point a to point b efficiently and in a similar condition as we were when we started (unmolested physically, mentally, and spiritually.) I made my ‘great’ people a different color so the art would reflect the quote more.

What makes a ‘great’ person anyway? Are they more generous than most others? Are they better at a specific thing? Or maybe they are “good” at a bunch of little things? Is greatness a personality trait or a way of life? Can it be taught or is it innate?

There are lots of books out there on how to be a “better” you. Will a better you be great?

What do you think makes a great person? I am interested in knowing.

Motivational Monday 10

It is hard to be positive and motivational when you are in pain. Constant pain is personality altering. I have been in pain for the past two days. A constant stream of swear words are running through my head. I have been trying to keep a positive attitude and keep up with my art work.

A lot of negative things come into my head when I am in pain. My optimism starts failing and I think of all the bad things that can happen. All the things that I am bad at, failed at, and will never get to do… because I am a failure.

I know I have a pretty good life. I do not worry to much about the basic necessities of life. I have what I need to get by. Yet I feel that I am a failure and will never get anywhere. Doomed to live in anonymous pain.

With out to much more of my negativity here is the positive part of my Monday post.

LeapingLion_thumb“Failure will never overtake me if my determination to succeed is strong enough.” Og Mandino.

I think this is my second quote for Og Mandino. He has some fun and interesting quotes that are easy to visualize and draw.

To do this one I looked up animals that could represent success or strength. I liked the leaping lion. We all can agree that they are strong and successful. Failure was harder. It is different to everyone. I started to think of the Nothing from the Neverending Story. Fear of failure can eat away at any success you have made and turn it into nothing.

Have a great week!

Motivation Monday 9

Two posts in one day!

Has the eclipse made me mad?

 No.  It has just been a busy day and I have a lot to share.

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 The quote I chose for today is from George Gordon Byron, better known as Lord Byron. A popular English poet and politician. I probably could have posted the quote without telling you the author and you probably would have guessed who it was from.

 “Be thou the rainbow in the storms of life. The evening beam that smiles the clouds away, and tints tomorrow with prophetic ray.”

 In summary, be someones happiness or good thing in the day. It will carry over to their tomorrow and make it better.

 I do not want anyone to have a bad day because of me. I would much rather be the thing that made someones day good. There are enough people and life events that can make a day bad. You do not need to add it it.

 Plus, you doing good makes your day better as well.

 This image was inspired by the quote and the eclipse that happened today. I did not get to see it. I was stuck inside working on lots of things for my future as an artist. I can say that the way the shadows changed was quite disconcerting.

 In addition to all the work stuff, my back was very painful today. I tried to stay sitting or laying. I have a full day tomorrow and I want to be as functional as I can be.

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Motivation Monday 8

Today we have a quote from Elon Musk. I am sure almost everyone knows who he is. The quote is “When something is important enough, you do it even if the odds are not in your favor.”

This quote was not the next in line. I skipped one from H.G. Wells and Mark Twain in favor of this quote.

Why?

Because it fits my circumstances at the moment and I knew what I wanted to draw after I read it. Right now my life feels like a difficult puzzle maze. Similar to one you would encounter in a video game or the one you would build in the card game Boss Monster (awesome fun game.)

MotivationMonday9_Small You enter the dungeon through the scary stairs, you cannot help but to think the entrance looks a bit like a monster ready to eat you. You encounter pitfalls, things shooting at you, weird puzzles, secret passages, and locked doors. If you are lucky you might get a respite to recharge. This is not guaranteed.

You will eventually see the exit, all glowing and beautiful. Remember not to rush to it. There will always be more pitfalls and puzzles before you can get to the end. Possibly a monster for you to fight.

So keep going.  You will reach your goal.  You are stronger than you might think.

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Clouds

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A cloud art that I created a few years ago after recovering from a very bad week. Ink wash and Pen and ink lines.

Today I was going to draw something else. Something that was more in my mood. Something NOT motivational. Then I remembered what day it was.

Darn you Motivation Monday. Damn you self imposed standards. Damn you integrity and follow through and all those other traits that are usually good. What if I wanted to be unmotivated for a while? What if I wanted to wallow in self pitty, self reproach, and other self destructive emotions?

Life has been rough for me lately.

Things are not going as smoothly as I would like. It is getting to the point where I am in the same emotional state I was when I left my full time job.

I keep shutting down. My brain just freezes in a cycle of what if’s and how’s. Even writing this down is stressful. It brings to the forefront all the things that have no solution or ending.

The stress is manifesting physically with hives and weight gain. I left a job to get away from these things.

Another layer is that I just cannot seem to sell my art. It feels like people are ignoring me. Actually that happens all the time anyway. People do not see me, listen to me, and often just do not acknowledge me. Usually responses from my art fill the need for acknowledgment. No one seems to want my art. That equates to no one wants me. Now I am in a cycle of what if, how, and why bother…

What if I can’t find a job and we lose our house, phone, or car? How will we get a place to live, new jobs? Why did I think I could sell my art? No one cares. They just walk past. I am invisible and no one cares, why should I care about anything?

20170724_115727This is where I am… Then we have today’s motivational quote. “If you fell down yesterday, stand up today” H. G. Wells. I do not think that I really need to introduce Mr. Wells. He is pretty famous already.

It took me a second to figure out what I wanted to do for this drawing, sketch really. I ended up doing this skateboarder who had fallen and gotten banged up. If I have noticed anything is that boarders will get back up, bruised and bloodied, and keep working on their tricks until they are good at it. They assess their damage and just keep going. Over and over until they can do it.

I will keep trying. I do not see that there is much of a choice.

Use positive and strong phrases to change the mindset an make myself stronger.

We will be okay.

I will get a job.

I will sell art. I am a good artist.

So get back up, and try again… no matter how badly you got damaged.