Motivational Monday 10

It is hard to be positive and motivational when you are in pain. Constant pain is personality altering. I have been in pain for the past two days. A constant stream of swear words are running through my head. I have been trying to keep a positive attitude and keep up with my art work.

A lot of negative things come into my head when I am in pain. My optimism starts failing and I think of all the bad things that can happen. All the things that I am bad at, failed at, and will never get to do… because I am a failure.

I know I have a pretty good life. I do not worry to much about the basic necessities of life. I have what I need to get by. Yet I feel that I am a failure and will never get anywhere. Doomed to live in anonymous pain.

With out to much more of my negativity here is the positive part of my Monday post.

LeapingLion_thumb“Failure will never overtake me if my determination to succeed is strong enough.” Og Mandino.

I think this is my second quote for Og Mandino. He has some fun and interesting quotes that are easy to visualize and draw.

To do this one I looked up animals that could represent success or strength. I liked the leaping lion. We all can agree that they are strong and successful. Failure was harder. It is different to everyone. I started to think of the Nothing from the Neverending Story. Fear of failure can eat away at any success you have made and turn it into nothing.

Have a great week!


You Made IT!

Congratulations on reaching your goal.

Whatever it was.

I made it through a tough work week.  I managed to draw every day this week.  I made it thought tonight’s image (I wanted to quite several times)  I made my exercise goals.

There are so many goals that were reached and we never congratulate ourselves for making them.

You made it.  Reward yourself!

Even if it is a small as a pat on the back or 15 minutes of quiet time.  You deserve it.


You made it! You reached your goals! You should celebrate

Reflections on 2014

Many of us bloggers are looking back over our years.  Some of us will focus on the things we failed to complete, others will just review key events and the rest will summarize the successes.

I will be celebrating my successes.

1. Completed 2 of 3 “Year of 300” goals.

  • approx 450 hours of “fine art” including 6 paintings and 4 computer graphics
  • approx 400 hours of exercise.  Most of this is walking to and from work.  My Dr. says I am surprisingly fit for someone of my weight/height ratio.
  • approx 150 hours of web dev.  Just could not sit in front of a computer more than I do at work, and the few projects I did get done on the computer.

2. I got out and did stuff.

  • I worked ECCC 2014, all four days.  I discovered that I need to take a day off AFTER the event
  • I worked PAX Prime 2014, all four days.  Took the day after off, even though I did not feel as tired as usual.  I am still undecided if I want to work it next year.
  • I went to JetCity Comic Con as an Attendee!  My first con as an attendee.  It was really nice to just mill around and look at stuff.  I got to see some really cool art and talk lots of interesting people.
  • I helped a teeny bit with Northwest Pinball and Arcade Show.  I created some flyers for a new section.
  • I did my best to get out and walk around and take photos and “see” my surroundings.

3. Stayed at home and did stuff.

  • Hosted a 72hour game-a-thon at my house.  Cooked food and everything.  It was fun even though there was not much turn out.
  • Painting, Painting, Painting.
  • World of Warcraft, the little bit of time I felt like sitting in front of a computer.
  • READ!!  I started and completed quite a few books.  Not all of them were awesome.  I have some that are difficult reads and I am still working on them.
  • Started an Instagram account (bycarissac if you want to follow me.)  I have learned that it is very important to tag your posts, hashtag this and hashtag that.  I like Instagram better than Twitter though.  Images are more important to me than snippets of words.
  • Started an online portfolio, web design tutorial (I’m stuck on content right now) and a drawing tutorial (also stuck on content.)

I think that sums up most of the stuff.

Next year will be pretty awesome too.


Moving into a New Year

MerryChristmasSeattleBannerMerry Christmas and Happy New Year everyone!

I hope that it is Merry and Bright for everyone.  If it is not looking like it will be for you, I hope that something stands out as good.  Focus on that and you will make it.

ChangeRoadSignWhen I graduated from University I was not prepared for the career I paid (lots) to learn about.  That is my fault for choosing the wrong school, wrong course and not questioning things as much as I should have. That left this year as a quest to get over my fear of change and failure.  Fear of not being “good enough” to graduate (some how I did,) not being able to get a job (still at my old one,) and not being able to do what I want to do (Web Designer!)  This year I failed to do a lot of things that would have made it easier to do what I wanted to do.  I got the wrong internship, I did not keep up with my studies, and I did not ask questions or look hard at what was going on.  Only when I got frustrated and angry did I start making changes.

I am not saying that this year was a waste or all bad.  I had tons of great things happen.  I DID graduate from a reputable University.  I DID get an internship.  I DID create some websites (no matter how basic.)  I DID quite my internship when I realized that it was not going where I needed it to.  My spouse and I made the move to home ownership (that was stressful.)  I have a new internship lined up and I have plans on making next year good.  All in all the good outweighs the bad since I learned things that enabled me to move on.

One of the tools I used to get over my fears is Planning. I find that making a rough outline helps keep me on track and keeps the fear of change at bay.  Whenever I HAVE to do anything (that I don’t want to do or am afraid to do) I plan.  I actually plan the fun out of it and cover pretty much every contingency (I have no idea why I did not go into project management.)  Plans allow for the greatest amount of light to shine on something that you are afraid of.  Especially if it is something new.

My rough plan for 2014 is pretty basic right now.  Do some follow up education so I can understand Web Design and Development better.  There are many things that make no sense to me and in order to get a job I feel that I should understand them and be able to work with them. As I learn more I want to rebuild my website (down for financial purposes – darn house) and the others I have built, practice, practice.  I also want to start building demo sites and templates for some of the various content managers out there.  I think if I can learn enough about those I can secure a decent internship (paying?) or start charging for my services (freelance.)  This means reducing the number of hours I spend on graphic design.  While it is fun I need to spend that time coding and expanding my Web Designer skills.

I have other personal plans too.  I plan on spending more time off my butt and walking around.  Exercise is important and I can use the time to plan out other things.  I can also increase my collection of photos so I have things to use when I need to make a graphic for a site.  I plan on encouraging my spouse to blog and finish his degree.  I plan on seeing a doctor on a regular basis (that is really scary in my mind.) I also plan on taking a vacation this year.  I has been a while and I am feeling the need to take a break.  That means saving up some green and paid time off.  I should probably spend some time with my friends too.

OtherSideOfFearFear is natural.  I think almost everyone is afraid of new things.  Things that they cannot fathom or understand.  I find planning helps reduce the fear.  Fear will never go away until you deal with its cause, but you can lessen it to the point where you can deal with it.  All it takes is some planning and research.  I need to research my medical plan and learn about finding a provider and paying the bills.  I need to learn how to use my insurance and so many other things.  I am worried that I will put it off again this year (it was a goal for 2012.)  I know that if I do research and ask questions I can over come this and help other co-workers figure it out. Once I figure it out I know the fear of it will be gone and I can spend that energy fearing something new.  The process repeats.

Have a great holiday season! 

Do what you need to do, even if it is scary.  The fear will go away once you do it.



Not Good Enough

Our days are colored by our first thoughts in the morning.  If your first thought is something like “I don’t want to get up and go to work.” You are probably going to have a mediocre day.  On the other hand if you wake up and our first thought is more positive “That was a good sleep.” You are probably going to have a better day.

not-good-enough_design  Many of us wake up and our first thoughts are of the work day or what was on our minds when we went to sleep.  Most of the time I (and many people I know) got to sleep by running over a list of things that did not get done and need to be done “tomorrow.”  How depressing is that!  Even worse is when you are doing extra work (volunteering or internships.)  Those extra hours of work make your day really long and add to your daily to-do list.

Looking at this I am not surprised that most of my morning thoughts are “I don’t want to get up and go to work.”  I am basically working two jobs.  I do well at the one I get paid to do.  The internship, I am not sure about.  When you are unsure where something is going that increases the negative things that go on in your head.

Everyday we encounter things that make us feel like we are “not good enough.”  People may tell us this with words or action, we may just encounter an activity that makes us say “I am not good enough.”  Every time we encounter this we have a choice to give up, avoid or keep trying.  I know a lot of people will avoid the issue until they have to give up because the time to deal with it is past.  There are lots of people that just give up without even trying.

Stephen-Hawking-QuoteI think the fewest number of people actually keep trying.  To keep trying when you think you are not good enough and to keep trying when other people tell you that you are not good enough show perseverance. To be able to keep going when YOU think that you are not good enough is the hardest thing to overcome (personal opinion.) These are the people that are usually successful.

Most of us want to be successful.  Many know that it takes a lot of hard work and dedication.  When we come across self doubt things get harder than most can deal with and we end up giving up.  If you can get past your self doubt and persevere you can be everything that you have dreamt about.

Working Zombie


What will they think of next? Click the image to go to the store that stocks it 🙂

We all have done it.  Tried to create something while we are mostly asleep.  Whether it be a web site, code, fine art or a sketch the results can go one of two ways, brilliant or terrible.  I am usually surprised which it is each time I work while I am basically a zombie.

When you are mostly asleep it is like you stop over thinking things and, even when creating from scratch, you just naturally do a decent job.  Then when you are more rested you can touch up things and the result is usually really good.  On the other hand you can realize you are really tired and over compensate and over think things.  Resulting in extra work for later.

This is just a neat phenomena that I just noticed, while I am a virtual zombie from want of sleep.  Great insights can come at the oddest times.

Happy Friday Eve!

I’m going to get some rest 🙂