GreatMinds - EleanorRoosevelt

Great Minds

I finally finished!

I put it up on DeviantArt if anyone wants to download(FREE wallpaper) it or buy a magnet or mug.  It looks very nice as a computer desktop wallpaper.

Now I can work on the other two drawings.


GreatMinds - EleanorRoosevelt

Overall I am pleased with how this turned out. I hope you enjoy it.


Circular Thinking

My mind is stuck in a loop of thinking about not much.
I could not get it to focus on drawing anything that would take skill or concentration.
Today we are stuck with lines drawn by a ruler and circles from a small bottle that I keep my nibs in.


All the thoughts that seem random are, in fact, connected. How remains the mystery.

Musings II

The Thinker Auguste RodinI had a several things that I wanted to post about.  None of them were fully fleshed out.  I thought I would include another post on my random musings.

1. Pet Peeve: Lazy dog owners Most dogs are really territorial, especially if they are protecting families.  If you are going to let your dogs out of the yard, near you house, you should probably be out there with them.

2. Running out of…  Working under a lot of stress for a long period of time can cause your work personality to fracture and bits of your true self (irritated short tempered self) to show.  My workload has been quite high for the past two months.  I have finally run out of … well… its no a good thing to run out of. I am kind of surprised that I lasted this long.  I am also surprised how much my increased workload effects my relationship and work with my co-workers.  Needless to say that we are all having a rough week.  We all ran out of _____’s to give.

3. Friends are Awesome  I do not make friends easily.  Quality over quantity in my world.  Recently I realized that I have a few more friends than I thought I had, and that it is awesome to have friends.  You never know what skills they have to enrich your life.

4. Personal Dilemmas Artist risk a lot when they put their art out for all to see.  Trolls like to hunt them down and do what they can to undermine the confidence of the artist.  What should the artist do?  Take the trolls to heart and change their content to go with the main stream ideals or maybe break all the rules and risk everyone and everything. I would like to say be yourself and do what you planned, but it is hard to ignore what people say and not let it change your works.

5. Cat in a bag


Just my cat Guido in a grocery tote.  I carried him around the house in the bag.  He loved it.


Not Good Enough

Our days are colored by our first thoughts in the morning.  If your first thought is something like “I don’t want to get up and go to work.” You are probably going to have a mediocre day.  On the other hand if you wake up and our first thought is more positive “That was a good sleep.” You are probably going to have a better day.

not-good-enough_design  Many of us wake up and our first thoughts are of the work day or what was on our minds when we went to sleep.  Most of the time I (and many people I know) got to sleep by running over a list of things that did not get done and need to be done “tomorrow.”  How depressing is that!  Even worse is when you are doing extra work (volunteering or internships.)  Those extra hours of work make your day really long and add to your daily to-do list.

Looking at this I am not surprised that most of my morning thoughts are “I don’t want to get up and go to work.”  I am basically working two jobs.  I do well at the one I get paid to do.  The internship, I am not sure about.  When you are unsure where something is going that increases the negative things that go on in your head.

Everyday we encounter things that make us feel like we are “not good enough.”  People may tell us this with words or action, we may just encounter an activity that makes us say “I am not good enough.”  Every time we encounter this we have a choice to give up, avoid or keep trying.  I know a lot of people will avoid the issue until they have to give up because the time to deal with it is past.  There are lots of people that just give up without even trying.

Stephen-Hawking-QuoteI think the fewest number of people actually keep trying.  To keep trying when you think you are not good enough and to keep trying when other people tell you that you are not good enough show perseverance. To be able to keep going when YOU think that you are not good enough is the hardest thing to overcome (personal opinion.) These are the people that are usually successful.

Most of us want to be successful.  Many know that it takes a lot of hard work and dedication.  When we come across self doubt things get harder than most can deal with and we end up giving up.  If you can get past your self doubt and persevere you can be everything that you have dreamt about.

A thought about protesting

I apologize for being away.  I have been moving (physically relocating from one end of town to the other.)  It is not fun and taking way longer than it should.

Status update is done now for the thought.

The story~

My work place is close to a Planned Parenthood.  I pass it almost every day while I walk outside on my lunch break.  Since school started there have been protesters there pretty much every week day.  Some of these people quietly sit/stand there with their sign and “stages of growth” signs or dolls.  Some have bullhorns and are actively and loudly protesting.  Some even bring their kids!  The kids usually end up sitting on the sidewalk while their parents shout their opinions to passer-byes. 

I do my best to cross the street so I will not have to talk to them.  I am in a uniform after all.  It would not be good to appear to be bias towards one or another side while on duty.  Well recently I was waiting at the light to cross the street (trying to send an email also) and one of the protesters approached me.  The first line was “you could die any time in the line of duty.” And the next line was “do you know what will happen to you after?”  My response was something like “I am aware of that, and I am ok with it.  I am not interested…”  Thankfully the light changed and I could rush across the street and continue on my walk and finish sending my email.

As I walked away I thought that the protestor presented me with a really morbid thought.  Do people really go around all day thinking about dying and being dead? That cannot be good for your mental well being.  Why not focus on living and being alive?  I would rather focus on the good things that I can do during the day than worry about the bad things.  Who wants to be depressed like that all day?

I know we all have to think about things like bills, the dangers of driving and crossing the street.  I don’t think that I should think about them ALL day.  I don’t think I should think about what will happen IF I die at work, ALL DAY.  That is depressing.  I might never go back to work if that was all I thought about.

I want to go to work to do good at my job.  I want to help people as best as I can.  I want to paint pictures that help people feel happy and make them think about their surroundings.  That is what I want to focus on in my day.  Not the grey and dismal “maybes” or “might’s” that can ruin the day.  We should all focus on the bright and happy goodness that happens and can happen in the day.

My second thought (really my first thought – every time I walk past these guys.)  Could you not find a better use of your time?  Is standing in front of an office building saying negative and ill informed things to passer-byes really the best way to use your time?  I could think of lots of ways to spend your time that would be more productive.  Knit some scarves and blankets for the homeless.  Volunteer at a hospital or school.  Go back to school yourself.  Paint a mural, build a house, CREATE some happiness in someone’s life, instead of spreading misery and gloom. 

Not everyone has the same opinion as you.  Get over it.  Yes, you have the right to share your opinion.  Just do it in a way that is 1. Productive and 2. Not infringing on the well being of others.  Wasting your time standing in front of a building is not productive.  You are not going to change anyone’s mind doing it, you are just annoying.  You also infringe on the rights of the people walking by or trying to use the business.


Ok that is the end of my rant.


The Gray Room

Stress, stress and more stress.  With so many things going on it is hard to focus on which ones are the most important. Everyday it seems like there is more to do, less time and less resources.  People just keep piling on the tasks and responsibilities, and there is no one to really talk to about the issues. 

Welcome to being an adult!  The bonus is that you can eat your dessert before dinner and go to any movie you want.  That may not seem like much of a trade off on most days, but we should really take note of any sliver lining we can.

What does this have to do with a gray room?

Gray (to us in the US, grey to the UK,) is the only color that evokes no emotional or logical response.  It is the NULL in the color world.  In an episode of “Fairly Odd Parents” Timmy (the main character) wishes that everyone was the same.  Every one in town turns into gray blobs.  Completely devoid of any emotional attachment or any differences.  In that sense the gray room is a place to go when you are feeling mentally and emotionally battered.  A place to take a break and have nothing that requires your attention.

I chose gray for several reasons.  Mostly it is a NULL color. It does not make me feel gloomy like Black or blinded like White.  Yellow is basically forced happiness when you are stressed out.  Blue may be soothing, but it still makes you think of things like water or sky.  Red is passion and Purple makes me want to be pampered in a spa.  Spa’s can get expensive.  Green is a nice color, but it is now associated with recycling and (not new) money.  Money is the root of all evil and not very calming to think about when you are stressed about a variety of things.  Gray wants nothing, and short of cool northwest weather, makes me think of nothing.

My gray room is basically like the Holodeck in Star Trek.  It has no size limit and  is a flat, matte gray.  In my mind I could walk for days and days and never stop.  I do not get tired, hungry or thirsty.  If I want to sit or lay down a flat gray shelf or block will be available for me to use.  The ultimate get-a-way spot for my brain.

I used to walk down a dimly lit hall, but I would get distracted by the spacing of the lights or start wondering where I was going or where I had been.  That would just send me into a thought spiral and sleep or rest would never find me.  Another thing I would do was to make fan stories based on books that I liked or had recently read.  Fun, but again thought spirals.  Getting interested in a story that is supposed to be making you sleepy or relaxed is not such a g

ood plan.  Lastly, when all else failed I would make a journal entry of all the things that were bothering me.  Sometimes I would let it be read, in hopes of some help, others times… Well, some things, thoughts included, should never see the light of day.

Like all things these relaxation exercises did help me unwind, but have since just caused more problems for the over worked brain.  Now it is time to find a new one.  Cue the Gray Room.  A wonderful mental retreat to relax enough to unwind and sleep. 


Lower panel of a painting I did for a co-worker. Acrylic on canvas. If the gray room does not work for you. Imagine sitting under a beautify white and silver dogwood tree.


Good night to everyone.

Relax and be well.